After years trying to fight all the Spam messages flooding my site I figured to try this Blog thing as a way to allow you as a visitor to leave some form of guestbook entries to me if you like.

Thanks for the support people!

Linda

Today been a happy and a sad day. First I finally got two packages I been waiting for ages on, containing a total of 18 glass plate negatives where at least 17 of them is from the Cripple Creek district, the 18th I’m a little unsure of.

And, best of all, seller had marked them as antiques, which they are, but that lead the Customs in Norway contact me and from that I learned about a rule saying that if the items are over 100 years old, we only get to have to pay the sale tax (time being that is 25%) of 20% of the value of the items, normally we get the tax on the whole amount including the shipping…

Which, in this case was a real treat, as I saved a whole lot of money!! Thankfully! And, I learned a useful thing for future buys, even better!

Now, the sad thing, my husband’s brother – Steinar is his name – has been in the hospital for about a month now, went in for a routine operation, got real ill and is in a respirator now, and have turned again from being better to go worse second time around.

The Doctor came to us on our visit today to give us an update and so on, and he also mention that we have to take into consideration what will happen if Steinar is not improving.

Every day in that bed is not a good thing, and we where told that in case his vital organs give in, hearth, lung, kidneys, they have decided to not do anything out of respect for Steinar.

As the doctor said, if he turns that bad under this very controlled environments, it is just sign from the body that “leave me alone” and we should respect that.

It is hard to learn, but it is also part of life, and so far, they are doing all they can for him, and we are very grateful for that. But it was clear he was not in a good shape today, and not sure he knew we where there or not.

Last time, while sleeping due to the induced Coma, he looked at peace and great if looking beyond all the tubes and everything, today he looked real sick.

So yes, we all learn as we live, or was that living as we learn?

LOL

Take care

I spent part of my day keeping busy putting images I did not win into my image database over know Cripple Creek District images, and also the one I use to keep track of my own collection.

Being a database customized out of one meant to collect books it means I spend quite much time doing manually work, and today I made it into another workload as one of the images was of two elephants in some sort of a parade going from East Myers Avenue where the trolley ran and up into the South 4th street up towards the National hotel along Bennett Avenue in Cripple Creek.

I wanted it, but I lost it as I did not want it bad enough.. But, that is beside my point here, while I was filling in info I figured, this image, I can place that exact on a location, but not knowing the street names by heart I had to open my Sanborn maps to check them out.

And, as the image has vision of a sign saying something about a Lumber yard it should be easier to date the photo also, as my 1896 (November) Sanborn gave me a lumber yard at that location but no brick structure as the photo show.
My 1900 (September) Sanborn map did have a structure there, but on that map it was marked as a Machine something.

My 1900 map said the street was named East Masonic Avenue and my 1896 map said it was named East Myers Avenue. Another photo from that collection gave the name E. Myers, so the photo has to be before my 1900 Sanborn…

Elephants and a parade, that should be easy to search, so I did enter the Colorado Old Newspaper site (Colorado’s Historic Newspaper Collection) and did a quick search on the “Morning Times” newspaper which was in Cripple Creek.

Which gave me two possible dates, one in May of 1898 and a Circus in Town with a elephant, and on in late June, early July 1899 with the “Prof. Gentry’s Dog and Pony Show”, which was to have two elephants in its show.
But, that gave also a short article, with a size given on the smallest elephant being only 42 inches high, which kinda ruled out the photo I was trying to date as there we see a small elephant that is maybe 2 meter high and a large one maybe 3,5 – 4 meter high..

Other images from the collection though lead me to still suspect this last one, but at least another photo may fit more with a circus…

Other images again may lead me to think a 4th of July Parade, so it fits more with the Gentry show…

I mention all this as it shows how I can go from just putting in a known photo from my area of love, to suddenly dig around on the Internet and all sources I have access to (in this case, only the newspaper site) just to try learn more about one image as that image can be enough special to actually be able to date and learn history from.

Like the Parade photos sold recently on eBay of the glass plate negative type which I was able to grab many of but not all as I did have to focus on the more important ones for me, railroad and mine based ones…

But, it was fun to be doing some of the stuff I love doing, digging and trying to find out more about a photo, place it, figure out what might have happen in the scene and so on.

So yes, one thing certainly leads very often to another which again leads to another and so on.

I think we can call that life. LOL

Take care

It been nearly a year since my last Blog entry, I have not had the best year where I am located and mentally, but,  when looking back, I have had a great year for my education of the Cripple Creek District in Colorado, USA!

So many things I have been able to get hold of in terms of photographs and such! And, the last month I have got hold of – at quite a big expense though sadly enough, but it had to be done – quite many glass negatives!

And, last night, I won a view where a mine I lost a picture of just minutes into the year of 2007 was much better viewed on the one I won then the one I lost! That was great, and, it did not cost me a leg and a arm either!
In fact, with the shipping to Norway of that and the 9 other views, this particular view of a area and a mine called Caledonia Mine costs me “only” US$ 63,41 which for what I have had to pay over the years for various views up into the hundredths of dollars is quite a great deal!
Made me real happy!!
Can’t remember what I lost the other view for though… I just remember that view was taken looking more north from across Squaw Gulch, the south side so to speak, and the view from last night is looking more east, not showing Squaw Gulch at all, but I see partly the roadbed of the Florence & Cripple Creek up on a hill at left.

So, while I do feel life is standing still, stale, and nothing good really happens, and life is taking a bad turn all the time around me, in terms of my ability and chances to learn about the history of the Cripple Creek District through images, that really has not stood still at all, and I feel blessed I am able to put aside some money each month to pursue this very important part of my life, what I live and bread for, what keeps me going when things are hard here we live…

The History of the “Greatest Gold Camp on Earth” is still filled with mysteries, hopefully, I will be able to still keep on collecting and learning parts of them over the years to come!

Best wishes

Clearly I’m no big user of this blog thingy, and now that I’ve lost the direct blog part from my web site provider I’ve been forced into using another service.

Other then that, life is pretty much hell like it been for ages.

I love my husband, no doubt about that, which makes it extremely hard just to give up and walk away, but I sense my resources are draining away, fast now a days.

Fifty three weeks ago, Friday the 9th of October 2009 was the day Tore, my husband, ended up in the hospital with a severe infection who lead to the death of his left foot – one should have imagined that ordeal to be enough.

But, now, 53 weeks later, 52 weeks last week, he still do his same old crap to try to mess his own life up so much that he ends up there again…

It is like he needs/want to have a mummy taking care of him, and in order to gain that he has to mess him self up so bad that others are forced to take care of him. Forced to look after him, to make sure he eats, sleeps and do all the stuff he says he wants to do…

I’m on a loosing end here, I fight hard, long, awful for what I believe in and for what I feel, I do stuff no one should have to do, I even try violence and harsh words to try help Tore see him self.

But every fucking time it is like after a short while the devil in him surface and speaks directly to the devil in my and temp and drag and do every thing he can to let the ass in my take charge and make me do stupid things.

I so wish I could just walk away, but how ca I walk away from a man so lost in him self, so alone, no-one wants to deal with him, no friends anymore, they all turned they’re backs on him his family except a somewhat mentally challenged brother don’t want to deal with him…

How can I walk away from a guy crying for help, claiming he needs help, my help?  Professional help don’t seem to work either, been like this for ages, and now a weekly sessions has turned into one each 3rd week…

Help, I just need help, I can’t deal much longer, my energy level is dropping way below safety I feel.

Linda

The time since my last post been a time of stress, happy days, bad days, very bad days, and good days.

Tore been magnificent with his wish to get up on his feet again and walk around, but been fighting like hell to avoid to have to think for him self and stand up and decide what he wants for him self and work for that, rather have a fight with me so he can have things told him, rather then think it out him self what he wants…

But, on the other hand, he been so wonderful, energetic, full of wish to prove him self coming to the fact of just walking around on two feet again.

Which he does, beautifully really!!

He can move with no crutches to aid him, walks steps/stairs like we normally do, he can walk on snow, uneven ground (not perfect, but he gets around), he been out on a skitrip for like ten minutes before he said hello to the snow.
He been showing great will and power – and it has paid off!

We are now home for good, he has all the needed knowledge with his new leg/foot to be able to get his life back on track – the only problem is that he is not willing to put his mouth where his actions are, or his actions where his mouth is…

Time will tell how it ends, between him and me it seems like a black hole, but I still love him and work my ass of to find ways to survive.

There you have the very short version.

Linda

For those who might read and follows the story around my husband Tore and his “search” for a new left foot and part leg, the latest news are now in, and we have a new foot and leg right now standing in the room!!

Last Wednesday, the 6th of January they decided down here at Bakke Rehabilitation Center that Tore’s leg and his wound there should be able to survive a casting in plaster so they could start build his first prosthetic leg/foot.
Today the big day was finally here where he was to see, feel, try on his new foot/leg – and he been very anxious the past few days and kinda been counting down the hours in his head.

So, around ten o’clock this morning (Norway time) Tore was at the office of the physiotherapist that is assigned to him here at Bakke.
The orthopedist engineer was also there, and he took and open a big bag where Tore’s new foot was inside of it! It looked strange, large, wrongly built/dimensioned as it felt rather short, very wide at the top where the rest of the leg is to be put inside, skin colored at top, a piece looking like a foot in skin color in bottom, but rest was steel tubes and moving pieces to allow for angles and movement of the foot.
Strange feel – how Tore felt I don’t know.

It was told that this is not heavier then the foot he lost, it did feel heavier, Tore also said that when it was on his
body and not just holding it – but the engineer claimed it not to be. We know for a fact Tore lost 2,3kg from one day to the other with only the surgery and amputation in between – so we have the actually weight loss.

There was lot of talk, showing, stuff – but then the foot was clicked on, and Tore was given a “preachers chair” on wheels to hold on to when he for the first time in 6 weeks once again stood on two feet!!
Lovely sight, must been wonderful and weird for him I imagined.

This evening, 6 weeks ago was the last time Tore took some walk around on his two feet, now, at least for a few minutes today, he could walk around again – that is magic nearly!
Six weeks ago he could walk without support, now he needs support and training, but in maybe 6 more weeks that might not be needed anymore maybe…
It’s wonderful – but life will not go back to where it was.

It is a new life, new challenges, new lot of stuff – but, he has a foot now, and while only few minutes every day is allowed to use that foot to train up and allow the skin to adjust and heal for the task ahead of allowing tore to walk around again, we will get there!

I’m proud of my husband, it is not the brave wonderful man I saw near end of last year – but I see a man still struggling to make the best he can to get on his feet again, and a man a little more scared then the other, but that also means most likely more safe then the other.
Which is good.

Tore has maybe walked 20-30 meters today, among those maybe around 10-15 meters backward, and everyone seem to think he did great – which I find great!!

Tomorrow exercise starts up with a few more things on his feet, maybe Friday night if body is OK with the foot we will be allowed to do a few more exercises, including the evening by our self.
Only time will tell, but for now – a great day!

For me too, I got a package today with stuff from a seller in Colorado with some great Victor photographs – wonderful, both Tore and me got presents today…

Till next time, take care

Linda

I will not claim to be friends really with Tore again, there is this trust issue at hand, but we get along, which is the good part.
I still is on the look out for the devil in there, but I can see/feel some of the pieces of the good soul in Tore starting from time to time to build it self up again, but, it is not the great person I had the wonderful luck of spending a few weeks with near end of 2009, he’s dead and gone for good…

I only hope that the one growing inside of Tore now, slowly growing, very slowly – will turn out to be as strong, good to him self, and the surroundings as possible, but knowing what lives in there I will try to not have my hopes up to high as what happen around the changeover from 2009 till 2010 was a scary thing.
I had expected something like that to happen, but not as bad and awful as it did turn out, there I must admit I got caught by surprise.

Today I’ve been busy packing up stuff, as we close in on the time we need to get going the stress level in my body increases, and things can easily become heated so I hope we can manage to stay on top of things and emotions.

Tore seems OK, the wound has healed slowly since a few days before New Year, I saw it last time the 2nd of January and it had hardly changed from the 30th of December.
I guess that might relay back to the situation he put his own body into those days and days after…

He had a fall yesterday due to not caring to check to see if his wheelchair had the brakes on – which it did not… – but I think it went OK, I see nothing through the bandages so I keep my hope up.

Over the last week or so, if you look away from 4 or so days of hell, things at home has become a routine and it seems like Tore is more or less inside the house able to get around and do most of the stuff he wants, without help from me.
I assume that is a good feel for him, it is for me.

When we now go to Bakke, he will get into a room where he can use only his wheelchair to get around from bed to bathroom and rest of the room – making it a little easier as he don’t have to get up and jump around a few jumps every time he needs the bathroom or want to go to bed…
The other side of that is that he needs to keep to the exercises he has to have way better then he did this Christmas break, because here at home, he was to lazy and not caring about him self enough to bother do them…
Gentle reminding did hardly nothing, more push and we ended up in hell…

All in all, life is not as good as it could have been, but there is hope, a slimmer one then I like, but hope.
The hope for Tore to walk again on the other hand, from what I think, it is high, very high – I just don’t have much hope for our marriage and time together…

Till next time, take care, and thank you for reading this.

Linda

Of course, like 2008/2009, the last day of 2009 I hat to meet the asshole again, my husband, my brave great wonderful husband crawled back into his hole and up raised the devil again!

I hate feeling like this, I hate being back till the morning and midday of the 9th October 2009, just before the ambulance came and brought Tore to the hospital where he weeks later found him self…

I hate knowing that this will never stop.

I hate knowing that in order to help him the best I can, I seem to have to go away, for good – and he hates me for wanting to go away!
I don’t want to, but I feel I have to – there is a big difference there.

I know my self, very good, I know there is a big fucking devil inside of me, and it is fed by the devil in Tore, the one that makes Tore care nothing about him self, to run his as into the ground, to treat me like a servant, and so on…

I tried my best for days to avoid this feelings, I felt them grow, I felt them coming, I tried earlier today, I let some of it loose, I tried stopping it, but I couldn’t…

Tore is bringing out the worse in me, and I wish he could bring out the best like he done for some weeks now.

I try to bring my best, to focus on my best, to be my best, but I can’t when I’m out of energy and all energy I get is bad energy…
I can’t fight this for ever, I just can’t

So, here we are, it is 2010 here in Norway, and what should have been a good time is bad, real bad.

And, in 3 days, the 4th, Tore is suppose to go away for up to 8 weeks at a rehabilitation place, I was suppose to be with him, right now, I don’t think that is possible…

I hate this year already, and it is only 8 minutes new…

Take care world, you all need it

Linda

This is written 25 days after I came to the hospital to have my operation. Since that day many thoughts have rushed through my head.
I was pretty well prepared on what was about to happen, but I felt that I still needed some more information. Both my wife and I are very information hungry.

One thing was sure though, I had made the right decision. There seemed to be no way they could save my foot, so an amputation was inevitably. I simply had no other choice.
What I was unsure about was if this really was the right time? I thought so myself. Now they would amputate just 6 inches below the knee, if I waited longer it could have been all the way up to my thigh. And that would have been far worse.

When we arrived at the hospital the first day was a bummer. We had the impression that the operation would take place the next day, instead it was put off one day further into the future.
That blew my mind really; I was so set that the operation would take place the following day that everything else was just another blow to my mind.
And the doctor that received us did not seem very cooperative.

Anyway, the show went on and I was on the operation table on Thursday, December 3rd.
Before that they had given me epidural in the spine in order to keep me sedated.
But things happened, I wasn’t completely sedated. I had a short period when I was awake and felt the pain of the knife. I said something and moved my leg, and I heard the surgeon say that I needed full sedation.

The first night after the operation was probably the worst night in my life. I had never felt so much pain before. And there was especially one hour in the morning that was horrible. There seemed to be no way the nurses could keep me calm.
Later thing became more normal. I was on my feet (foot) twice less than 24 hours after the operation. I was determined that I should make it through and back to a normal life again.

I started physiotherapy almost right away. It was exhausting, but also fun at times. I had supervision normally once a day, but I also limped along in a walking frame whenever I felt for it.
All this time I was accompanied by my lovely wife.

I had one serious accident though, and that happened four days after the operation. I was about to sit down in my wheelchair when I was putting my butt too close to edge and I fell on the floor.
This became serious as I opened up the wound from the operation and the surgeon had to come back and stitch me up again. I have been much more careful since then, although I still push my limits.

I stayed in the hospital for almost two weeks. These days after the operation were much more pleasant than the first four. I had a good time at the hospital.
They had a good staff that took good care of me, and with my wife along my side all the time, it was almost fun.

But I had to leave, and on Monday, December 14th, we left for a rehabilitation facility 90 miles further south.
The reception there was not very pleasant. I had the permission to bring my wife along, but it soon seemed that they didn’t like that she stayed there with me.
But my wife is a part of me, and wants to follow me every step along my way to full recovery. I simply had to have her there.
She documents in words, pictures and video what I do and how I’m doing it.
As time progressed they became more used to my wife being there, and two nurses expressed great pleasure in hearing that she would be there with me all the time. I like it that way.

I exercised once or twice a day during the week I stayed at the rehabilitation facility.
Then came Christmas and they closed down for the holidays. We had to go home, or in my case, to a small local hospital.
We headed north on December 22nd.

On our way north we stopped by the hospital and met with the surgeon that did my operation. She wanted to take a look at the wound and see how it healed.
She was so pleased with what she saw that she decided to take the stitches there and then. That was two days ahead of schedule. She even removed the extra stitches she did 15 days earlier.

We were well received at the local hospital, but there was something about the atmosphere there that gave me the critters. I didn’t like what I saw.
After some discussions with myself and my wife, we decided to go to our house anyway, even if it was filled up with various things and not at all fitted for a man dependent on a wheelchair. We decided we could make it livable for me with a few modifications.

And here we are. It’s been four says since we came here and it works out for me to be there.
Some arrangements had to be done, but it wasn’t too much.
You see, in addition to my wheelchair I have brought with me a walking frame and a pair of crutches. So I manage.

We have to go down to the hospital every three days though, in order to change the bandages on my amputated foot and to take some tests. But we can live with that.
We will go back to the rehabilitation facility on January, 4th.

During the time since I left for the hospital the first time on October, 9th, my wife and I have become much closer.
We do our best to come through this together, and when it’s finally over I think we are stronger than ever as a couple.
We have had our arguments, and I believe we will still have them in the future, but this time they can only make us stronger.
We had a very heavy one on the second day at the rehabilitation facility, but we came out of it, even if it took some time.

At this time both of us and our cat suffer from cabin fever. We are stuck in the house because of too much snow.
And I, with only one leg, can’t do a fucking thing about it.
All this kind of work that I used to do, my wife have to do now.
No wonder that I love her.

Tore B.