Home > Misc > 5th of January 2010 – and changing time is here

5th of January 2010 – and changing time is here


I will not claim to be friends really with Tore again, there is this trust issue at hand, but we get along, which is the good part.
I still is on the look out for the devil in there, but I can see/feel some of the pieces of the good soul in Tore starting from time to time to build it self up again, but, it is not the great person I had the wonderful luck of spending a few weeks with near end of 2009, he’s dead and gone for good… 😦

I only hope that the one growing inside of Tore now, slowly growing, very slowly – will turn out to be as strong, good to him self, and the surroundings as possible, but knowing what lives in there I will try to not have my hopes up to high as what happen around the changeover from 2009 till 2010 was a scary thing.
I had expected something like that to happen, but not as bad and awful as it did turn out, there I must admit I got caught by surprise.

Today I’ve been busy packing up stuff, as we close in on the time we need to get going the stress level in my body increases, and things can easily become heated so I hope we can manage to stay on top of things and emotions.

Tore seems OK, the wound has healed slowly since a few days before New Year, I saw it last time the 2nd of January and it had hardly changed from the 30th of December.
I guess that might relay back to the situation he put his own body into those days and days after…

He had a fall yesterday due to not caring to check to see if his wheelchair had the brakes on – which it did not… – but I think it went OK, I see nothing through the bandages so I keep my hope up.

Over the last week or so, if you look away from 4 or so days of hell, things at home has become a routine and it seems like Tore is more or less inside the house able to get around and do most of the stuff he wants, without help from me.
I assume that is a good feel for him, it is for me.

When we now go to Bakke, he will get into a room where he can use only his wheelchair to get around from bed to bathroom and rest of the room – making it a little easier as he don’t have to get up and jump around a few jumps every time he needs the bathroom or want to go to bed…
The other side of that is that he needs to keep to the exercises he has to have way better then he did this Christmas break, because here at home, he was to lazy and not caring about him self enough to bother do them…
Gentle reminding did hardly nothing, more push and we ended up in hell…

All in all, life is not as good as it could have been, but there is hope, a slimmer one then I like, but hope.
The hope for Tore to walk again on the other hand, from what I think, it is high, very high – I just don’t have much hope for our marriage and time together… 😦

Till next time, take care, and thank you for reading this.


Categories: Misc
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