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Re-union time – as in, finding a lost friend…

Today, finally, after looking since February this year, I was able to find a dear friend of mine that I managed to loose in the snow an early stressful morning I had an appointment with my Doctor and had to remove lot of snow, while it was snowing…

We have had snow smelting for weeks now and almost all is gone, and still, I was unable to find it, but, this day, this day it was all to change!! πŸ™‚

Oh glorious day!! πŸ™‚

 

Not where I had though to find it, but none the less, must have happen a minute or so before I noticed I had lost my friend, I had driven the car in the snow out to the end of our driveway, cleared a little snow around it and it must have happen then…

My dear bellowed Canon Ixus 220HS must have slipped out of my pocket while leaving the car, got on the ground, and in the snow, darkness and stress got caught on the snow shovel and been thrown about 1,5 to 2 meter into a big pile of snow, totally unnoticed until a minute or so later while back at the house and about to leave for the car…

I totally, totally fell apart right there and then, got be about 10.15 minutes late for the appointment, I was a nervous wreck, bad driver, slippery icy road – thankfully a truck in front of my drove slowly so I had to do it my self, cursing at him for being that slow as stress and catastrophic thoughts ran wild through my system.

Tears running, world crumbling, thankfully I had no accidents, but I do know I should not have driven, but, I had no choice, I needed to get to my appointment.

The only good thing then was that my Doctor could see that side of me as well, where I had little control but fought hard to get it back!!!

 

And, today, on the 21 of April 2015, there, in the snow, on top of what is left, almost under a small tree, there was something shining, something partly black, something that made my hearth race – and yes, YES!!!!

There it was, my camera, somewhat discolored on the arm-strop, and one of the covers on the side, possible less black then I remembered it, but other then that, it appeared to be in good shape.

I yelled happily, I ran in with it, took out the battery and memory card, left it in the western window to dry out a little with the lid open where the battery and card was inside.

Later today I put the battery into the charger, it was red, but some time later, hours, it was green – maybe a good sign, yes? πŸ˜‰

I have not tested the memory card yet, and I try my best bot to test the camera, has no hope it has survived except a tiny bit of hope, but I do hope my card has survived, but will let them stay inside with me for some time before testing them.

So, fingers crossed, hopefully this bad episode can have a happy ending, I sure need one as life generally is like it been for over ten years now, a nightmare and I see no way out of it…

To who ever read this, thank You! πŸ™‚

 

Linda

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Categories: Eidsvoll, Misc

Heavenly, how can a shower be that great… LOL

07 Mar 2012 1 comment

Hi,

After years of getting worse and worse water supply up here at the cabin I am stuck in, we for about a month ago finally came to the point where it was impossible to live with it anymore, now it was droplets and maybe 20 seconds of water before we had to turn of pump, wait, turn back on, get some seconds, repeat…

We knew we had to bite the bullet/bad apple and call the plumber and get it fixed, even if it is not reusable in all parts if I ever figure out how to earn money and not just spend them…

Today, today they came, first they ran of the road due to ice so got lot of trouble getting up to us, then they spent the next 3 hours dragging up our old water hose from the drill hole in the ground – all 30 meters or so.

Then, in the snow and wind coming from above then put in the new pump, now directly into hole and bypassing our old one in the crawl space we call a cellar, and they told me later they got it down 20 meters and then it refuses to go further.

Sadly I never got to see the pump, they where so fast, which is great as this is expensive and will cost about what I earn in 4 months… I earn not that much.. 😦
Just to put it into perspective, it is about my monthly income with Tore’s pension added.

As he spend all his income already in various stuff, included stupid loans he took to hide stuff before, it is rather bad for us, but, tonight, tonight I was in heaven for ten minutes or so!!! πŸ™‚

I had my self the first shower in about 2 months, and, I tell you, that was the greatest time for a very long time, a very long time!!!

To feel clean, not dirty, to feel water streaming over a body longing for it, it was great, can not describe it, you have to experience it.

And, the power in the water, it was like old days, lot of pressure in it – I loved it!!! πŸ™‚
Only bad part is a slight problem keeping the temperature, it went a little from great to slightly to hot back to great again.
But I use a lot of hot water so I might notice it better then Tore.

Either way, I am clean, I feel warm, great, happy for the first time in a very long time, life, right now, is great!!

Outside it snows and blows and we have ice making roads dangerous, but hey, I am not driving out till Friday morning, so, right now, no worries –Β  love that!! πŸ™‚

Take care

Linda

Categories: Eidsvoll, Misc

Alone, again, almost…

Hi,

It’s Sunday evening, 18:02 to be exact, and we’re home from a short but long trip where we sent my parents home with an airplane from Gardermoen Airport about 40 minutes drive from here.
That was 11:00 this morning…

The next three hours was spent in the rain, inside of the car, arguing and fighting for some stupid stuff with no real good reason at all except Tore’s attitudes and “give a damn” (or “Devil may care” as he say it) what happens thinking…

Some more hours passed, I did relocate a little, more arguing, but we got a short trip, little walk in the rain on a new bridge over the highway E6 near Nordkisa which yet is to open – felt for a little crazy doing, so went out in the rain and walked over the bridge….

Then some more driving, slow driving, little talk, then some food, a while later a ice cream we shared, and then we was back at the cabin at a great pleasure for the cat that seemed to miss us.

So, now it is just me, the cat, and Tore…

Alone, again…

Best as always

Linda

Categories: Eidsvoll, Misc

Back at the cabin…

Hello,

Road trip is over, it been over for several days now – we came home 2 minutes to midnight Sunday evening and I guess I used most of the week to settle down again here at this miserable cabin with its bad water situation and all.

Been fighting all week with my husband, not all day though, but the feel been bad and some days worse then others – but I managed to get some stuff done.

I was given a digital scale by mom and dad as a late birthday present, and that has seen quite lot of use this week as I been making my self little treats to chew on. πŸ™‚
Small cakes is always nice to snack on. LOL

Other then that, I’ve not fully settled in yet, mom and dad will fly back home on Sunday so I guess next week or so the full feeling of being up here again with only Tore will hit home and make me within a few days find back to the regular routine of trying to make my life as good as possible and get back to some of my projects.

Till next time, if you read this, I hope your safe and life treats you good.

Best wishes

Linda

Categories: Eidsvoll, Misc

Life goes on, & with life there's hope…

Hello who ever is reading this. πŸ™‚

It’s Sunday night here in Norway, I’ve been stuck here at this cabin in Eidsvoll since fall of 2006, with a few short trips to the house we had in the Netherlands.

Last year, June 2008 all that took a nose dive when the house was more or less taken by the bank and sold as my husband Tore long before had stopped paying on the mortgage and not talked with the bank at all.
Nor with me… 😦

We was able to get most of our personal belongings out, but lot of furniture and some other items had to be left behind..

Now, it is June 2009, life is a struggle, money short, I tend to spend the little I get in on my self to stay afloat in my mind and keep on living and not just lay down to die.

We have no house, the stuff that was started built in 2007 and early 2007 is slowly rotting away, even the attic part on the annex I built has yet to be fully finished off.
There are constant battles with Tore, I have a hard time letting go of what happen and why it happen.
I almost daily see the same attitude in Tore as back when things really went down the drain – and it reminds me how much things gone bad, and then I explode in anger, resentment and worse.

Some days are good, I can buy my self some good time by finding stuff related to my big love in life (not Tore…), the Cripple Creek District.
I been lucky this year and found some great info that I slowly gather/piece together that I find very helpful – but some of that came at a great cost though…

I hardly go anywhere but around the property, I have not seen my parents or brother since around October 2008 when we last had a trip across Norway to the west coast.
We have big problems with the water, can’t take showers when we want, hard to wash cloths, we look and smell like two early cave people almost… LOL

It takes it toll on both of us, Tore been coming really careless and don’t bother about anything, I start to feel the same and that ain’t very helpful either.

I did redraw the house into a simpler design that I can build in two stages, but getting a loan is impossible as I have no solid income and no backup valuables…
But, I keep my dream alive the best I can.

There are some lights in my life though, like now last Thursday when my sister came for a extended visit, and plan to come with us while we drive over the mountains and over to the west coast of Norway to visit my parents and brother.

I really enjoy having my sister visiting me, we lost contact with each other in the young years of our life, and while she been better then me at trying to get back in touch, we never have had such a chance as this few last days been giving me.

I’ve enjoyed that, I hope I can use that to build upon, as I feel I care allot for her, and can share some of the feels and problems with her even if her problems and my problems is not the same I do reconize the feel from my own childhood.
I wish I knew better when I was young, and I wish life could been better for both of us then – but as she says, that was then, now is now.

I have deep respect for her, from what we been talking about it is so easy to think that what I felt was bad life easy could had been way worse.
It is strange how easy it is to forget even those close to you, when you struggle with your own problems.

I hope I’m able to grow as a person from these days, and that this might be a start of a life where things start to be better over time.
Don’t understand how, but the whole visit was so out of normal routine in my life that I try to look at it as a meaning and chance to look at life with some other eyes and maybe see something I have overlooked.

Either way, today been a mixed day for me, she had a great day, Tore had a mixed but probably better day then me – and me, I’m struggling with the same issues and feels as always. 😦

I feel not part of a relationship, like I don’t mean anything, like what ever I say or do, I’m not looked at as equal, and when I try to be as good as possible, that is only taken advantage of and I end up beign hurt but still having to do things that now only make me feel used and no longer bring the joy it started out as being.
Tore is great to make me feel like this…

But, it looks and feels like I helped a little bit giving my sister a great day, and that brings me joy to know.

I fear tomorrow a little, but want to try keep a open mind and take things the best I can do as they come up.

So, there you have it, life is still bad, but there are some good times to keep me alive and hoping.

Best wishes

Linda

Categories: Eidsvoll, Misc

Sorry, I'm still here…

Hi,

Life moves on, every second, every minute, every hour and so on – life continues for ever it seems.

Which I guess is good. LOL

It is funny, strange, how things goes, I’m still stuck in Norway, for good it seems.

Last time I wrote I knew we where in trouble, but now I really know it as we are flat broke.

After years of nagging and pushing I was finally able to get Tore to understand that this nailing of him to the wall was for the benefit of our both – and he finally gave me the numbers that relates to our monthly expenses…

What a downer that was – I knew we had trouble, but the numbers where much higher then I had imagined, this can not last.

So, as Easter is passing by, and I have some work doing carpentry on the house here in Eidsvoll, it also means we are nearing next week and normal life again, with bills and other stuff to keep in mind.
And, of course, no work up here at the cabin.

Meaning, I guess we end up arguing again, as life catches up with us again…

I’m sick and tired of this stuff, I’m mad at my self for not pinning Tore to the wall years ago, and even more mad at him for not being able to control the money & expanses – and for not being a man I can trust.
I feel let down, betrayed and lied to – and I so want him to pay for it!

But, I also love him, and want the best in life for him – so it is a constant conflict within me, eating away my sanity each second, minute, hour, day, week, month… 😦

Not sure how to move on, I don’t feel I’m able to survive this much longer, and I have nothing left of my energy or any way to regain my self.
I’ve lost my home, we still own it, but I will never get back to the house in the Netherlands and the life I had grown to feel comfortable with. I’m feeling left alone out in the cold, and with no place to go, no place to feel home, no place to re-energy my self.

There are light points along the way though, and I do sometimes get a good feel over me – it just don’t last very long.

As long as I’m able to occupy my brain/mind with work on the new house, I feel happy and able to survive one more day – but like now, at evening I just feel so empty.

How will it end, who knows, all I know is that I have a dinner I need to go check on. πŸ™‚

So, bye for now, who knows, maybe next time/month, year I have some good news to share to the world/who ever reads this stuff. πŸ˜‰

Best wishes

Linda

Categories: Eidsvoll, Misc

New day…

Howdy,

A new day, dark and wet as yesterday, but not as dark emotionally as last night…

But, things feels different, like there is a invisible wall out there…

While speaking about walls, Egil & Øyvind been busy putting up the 10th row on the garage up here at Eidsvoll – it is U-blocks and is the last row.
According to them, 9th row was so good that it had to be luck as they hardly seen it so good when you have so many “broken wall segment” to connect – so they seemed pleased.
It could be the laser they used, but.. πŸ™‚

The rain makes being out miserable, but I’ve been out – and I had to work too… LOL Bringing U-blocks to them…

Anyway, just wanted to type a few words

Best wishes

Linda

Categories: Eidsvoll, Misc