Husband update, 12 Dec – OK times

Hello to anybody out there,

Thank you all for the support and understanding and good wishes and thoughts!

They been good in hard times, emotionally it been a real mountain railroad, full of sharp unexpected curves, high bridges where you feel you will drop down every moment, sudden drops and raises in the track – and always wished the mine at the end is around the next curve as you want to get off the train.

We’re hardly there yet, but we entered a longer piece of good graded track, the scenery is easy and both interesting and boring sometimes to look at – today we have a slow ride but it allowed me to have some free time for only me as Tore has been sleeping.

I try keep a diary for Tore and me, it used to help me many years ago when I went through some hard times in life with hospital time (less then Tore has by now though) and time to heal – and I hope me writing will help Tore down the line too, even if it takes allot of time and energy to try keep the info and feelings remembered long enough to write it down.

Tore is marvelous in all this, but he keeps the feelings bottled up a little to much sometimes so he has some hard times suddenly when things becomes to much, but we manage both.

He is up “walking” around on a “walker” with 4 wheels from time to time, jumping around you can say, but it is though and he can’t manage long trips with it, but even a trip of 6m to and back from the toilet is a good thing!
Mostly he uses the wheelchair to get around, but he tries to do simple exercises.

Monday we’re off to the Rehabilitation place for 8 days – and due to big emotionally press, and Tore’s welfare, I’m invited to come with him, much to my relief because it was hard to live with the fact we where to be separated for a long time with him on this training place – it essentially broke my spirit right down as much of my energy seem to be linked to Tore.

For Christmas this place closes, but they found Tore a place on a local hospital type where he will be from the 22.12.2009 till 05.01.2010 when he is back at the Rehabilitation place for a unknown time frame.

He has started the slow process of learning the body to accept the thing that his new leg is to be attached to, started yesterday, twice a day for 30min each, then over to 1 hour time frames and then the whole day – guess that is a couple of weeks away.
It’s a silicon thingy put over the rest of his leg, knee and up on his thigh to put the stress/weight/forces from the prosthetic leg over to his knee – they call it a suspension prosthetic leg/foot.

The pains are mostly taken care of with painkillers in pills, but sometimes it hurts as hell when they change the dressing on the wounds – which by the way heals mostly nicely, he had a fall on Monday that forced a few stitches to be redone as it open it up a little on the outer side, 6 stitches he broke up… 😦
I needed that fall he said as soon as he hit the floor, it was a stupid fall, was so sure about him self he did not bother to check where he was in distance from the wheelchair, so he sat near the front of it and fell sideways. 😦

I’m still very proud of him and for what he has managed to do so far, we have though times a ahead, especially him, more pains as we spoke with a man yesterday that have both feet gone, and he warned Tore that first time walking is rather painful, but stick to it and it will be great!

Best wishes

Linda

Husband update, 6 Dec – Good times

Hi,

I should post a long overdue short info here in case anyone out there actually read this readings of mine… 🙂

Today it is Sunday, right now Tore is sleeping in the bed beside of me here at the hospital – but that is a good thing as more sleep he gets the better he gets.
Yesterday he and I had a great time together, but already on Friday around 11-11:30, less then 24 hours after the surgery and his left foot had been amputated to up around 15cm below his knee he was out of the bed and hopping around the floor for like 2 seconds and two jumps. 🙂
This man is coming out of this ordeal stronger and greater and more grown then I could ever have imagined and even dared dreaming about!

We have had lot of good long talks, like I’m falling in love all over again, I get sort of paid for 6 years of fighting with him, and I feel it has been worth it to get this man I have next to me here in the hospital!!

Today they have given him his freedom back too, no longer has he any painkiller stuff into his back to drag around, nor the thingy up into his manhood to get the pee out, no strings, tubes or anything but him self to drag around – and with his left foot gone he is about 2,3kg lighter to drive around in the wheelchair then before the operation – except before he could walk, and for the moment that is a little hard for him… 🙂 😦

Tore was out of the bed and moving around 4 times the very first day after the operation, yesterday he was out 3, but longer trips – including one out in fresh free air a few seconds – and today he been up one so far, but sat at a table and ate breakfast with me for the very first time in this new chapter of his life!

Lot of good feels, tomorrow the hard stuff comes, the exercising, the building up of muscles in his arms and other leg to take all his weight and learn how to move around as one legged man!
But, his spirit is high, and I’m sure it will be some good times there as well.

Take care

Linda

Husband update, 3 Dec – It's Done!

Hi,

As far as I know, the amputation operation has been successfully, and Tore is at recovery waiting to wake up and get well enough to come back down to the room.

I have heard nothing, I take that as a good sign, and while it been a hard day, and harder days are ahead of us, I know we both will survive and can only grow from this.

Rest, I have no energy left for words, I’m empty and fight my own feelings so they don’t overpower me, need to stay strong for Tore’s sake!

Take care, all those in the two and one and non footed world!

Linda

Husband update, 2 Dec – Bad times

Hi,

Tore is back at the hospital, been here since yesterday. Learned yesterday that the surgery was changed till tomorrow instead – hit us like a sledgehammer!
Was not good, mentally been prepared for today, and then checking in and learning the amputation is tomorrow Thursday instead. 😦

And, I’m not allowed to stay with Tore at the night, not at the evening either really, after 8 in the evening and before 9 in the morning is like the time I can no be here… 😦
Stupid rules, if Tore needs me, who the shit should stop that? That is bullshit, mentally this is hard for a person, why should rules make it even harder?

So far this thing at the hospital have made the situation for Tore and me way harder and tougher then we had imagine it to be. Feelings inside of us is one thing, but why should the system and hospital make it even harder, they suppose to help us, not stress us up more, right?

Today Tore is away a few hours to get the medication started, the anesthetic stuff was put in yesterday and is activated today, now – and this on a person that don’t feel any pain at all – wasteful and as far as I understand, totally unneeded…
But, the system say so, people normally is in pain when they amputate, Tore is in forefront of all this, and yet they treat him this bad – had it been me, I had walked out yesterday, or at least this morning as we had a rude doctor in here treating Tore – and me – as things, not like people with feelings.
Tore is very brave, I’m very proud of him – but this stuff should have been a way better handled then it is, no need to stress people like this, we should have had good feel from the hospital and felt safe and secure, instead at least I feel like we have no control what so ever!

I hate this, I wish we can somehow use this lessons learned to help make it better for people after us – we can’t be the only one that feel mistreated like this, and no-one in need of an amputation, this drastic change in one’s life, should have to deal with the insecurity that we deal with here now!!

Take care, we survive, we grow from this, but damn, I had a hard day yesterday and having a bad one today too!!

Linda

Husband update, 30th Nov

Hi,

It is 02:52 at the last night my husband has in his home for ever with two feet and full legs – and we’re still not in bed…

It is hard times mentally/emotionally – and today been harder due to externally causes like snow, power loss due to planned worked on the power lines in the area, stuff to arrange, a car to have its 150 000km service done, people to meet an so on…

With no power, we had no computer, had to use the evening to type down all happenings from earlier today, been lot of work, many hours of typing…

Soon, we get around 3 hours of sleep, maybe 4, but then we need to get up, no later then 7 AM and get ready to go to the hospital for Tore to get written in and start the last count down to the for ever loss of his left foot and part leg… 😦

It is dying on him, we can see that, but it is still a damn hard thing to settle on – I’m married to a very brave man!

I need sleep, take care

Linda