Home > Misc > It's 2010 – and I hate it!!

It's 2010 – and I hate it!!

Hi,

Of course, like 2008/2009, the last day of 2009 I hat to meet the asshole again, my husband, my brave great wonderful husband crawled back into his hole and up raised the devil again!

I hate feeling like this, I hate being back till the morning and midday of the 9th October 2009, just before the ambulance came and brought Tore to the hospital where he weeks later found him self…

I hate knowing that this will never stop.

I hate knowing that in order to help him the best I can, I seem to have to go away, for good – and he hates me for wanting to go away!
I don’t want to, but I feel I have to – there is a big difference there.

I know my self, very good, I know there is a big fucking devil inside of me, and it is fed by the devil in Tore, the one that makes Tore care nothing about him self, to run his as into the ground, to treat me like a servant, and so on…

I tried my best for days to avoid this feelings, I felt them grow, I felt them coming, I tried earlier today, I let some of it loose, I tried stopping it, but I couldn’t…

Tore is bringing out the worse in me, and I wish he could bring out the best like he done for some weeks now.

I try to bring my best, to focus on my best, to be my best, but I can’t when I’m out of energy and all energy I get is bad energy…
I can’t fight this for ever, I just can’t

So, here we are, it is 2010 here in Norway, and what should have been a good time is bad, real bad.

And, in 3 days, the 4th, Tore is suppose to go away for up to 8 weeks at a rehabilitation place, I was suppose to be with him, right now, I don’t think that is possible…

I hate this year already, and it is only 8 minutes new…

Take care world, you all need it

Linda

Categories: Misc
  1. John D'Angelo
    03 Jan 2010 at 19:30

    Dear Linda,

    I am SO sorry to hear about what you and your husband have been going through. I do not visit the Trainz forum very much and missed seeing your notes about his terrible leg problem.

    You have my deepest sympathy and prayers for you both. I know how bad this situation has become for you and all I can say is that I feel your pain. I wish I could absorb your pain and make it go away, but all I can do is say prayers for you and tell you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Please feel free to drop me an email anytime you want to. My wife and I have been battling severe illness for 30 years, and we are in the trenches right there with you.

    With deepest care,

    John D’Angelo

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