Husband update, 27th Nov – Date is in for amputation!

Hello,

This is a stressful day today, Tore got the letter from the hospital today, one day late as there had been a mix-up with the address info – but we manage even if it made this day even more stressful.

Tore is already to admit him self to the hospital now Tuesday the 1st of December, for amputation the following day, the 2nd of December 2009. !! 😦

This is fast, way fast, and caused a lot of stress, problems – for instance we have our car on the needed 150 000km Service this day…
We have had no chance to speak with people that suppose to help us make this home we live in manageable for Tore to get around in without a foot/leg – now we need to try make that happen in case Tore is sent home for Christmas with one foot and no prosthetic foot…
Stupid that I should have to deal with all this while Tore is at the hospital, he is the person it is for, surely he should have a say in all this…

Either way, it caused a lot of stress, Tore is dealing very good, I struggles as I see all the problems ahead and try to find ways to overcome them, and it freaks me out.

But, that is the latest news I am able to share now.

Take care

Linda

Husband update, 24th Nov

Hi,

Tore has made the decision, he called the hospital earlier today the 24th of November 2009 and said that he has reach a conclusion that he has to let go of his foot.

Its not been an easy one, in fact it been the hardest ever for him – but it has to happen.

The foot is slowly dying on him, and will eventually down the line possible end up killing Tore too, and he don’t want that.
His exposed sinew/tendon (?) under the foot has for the second day now shown increased cracking up and loosing it self up – not a good sign at all.
There are no healing to see, the toes are smelling badly, number 4 is starting to get real loose, number 2 and 3 is coming after.

So far no sign of his body not being able to fight the infection he has in his foot, he been healthy after he got off the antibiotics on Friday, temperature and blood sugar stays within normal range.
We keep a close eye on this two as they are signs og his infection raising – and if it does, we call the hospital at once as a increase in the infection will decrease his chances of recover from all this with the best results as wishes for.

As far as we know, they will amputate his left leg about 12-15cm below his knee – and within a month or a half month more should be having his first prosthetic leg if all goes well. Will be from around 6-12 weeks before they expect him to be out of the hospital and the “training center” where he will go afterward – will be around 2-4 weeks in the hospital, rest is then training and more training.
He might be home for Christmas, might not be the best idea considering the crappy place we live – but we deal with that when the time comes.
I will support him the best I can when he is admitted to the hospital again, maybe next week – doubtful this week, but who knows.

We will get a letter with a date, maybe even a early phone call when the surgeon knows the time, till then, all we van do is stay safe, and do the best we can.

Tore is a very brave man! And I bow my head in admiration for his will and determination, this is the man I been fighting for all this year, this is the man that has found him self, the inner strength, and as long as he can hold on to that he and I will be OK.

If you care for some pictures, please be advised, they are strong ones – this is how he looked today:
Pic. 1 – A look at the bottom of his left foot, you can see the wound under there, also a non healing one – and where the cracking has taking place since yesterday.
Pic. 2 – A closeup of the wound under his foot.
Pic. 3 – A closeup of his dying toes from the bottom side.
Pic. 4 – A closeup of his dying toes from the top side.
Pic.5 – A closeup of the non healing wound on the top of his foot, you can see straight into the foot and the white stuff in there is his sinew/tendons for his toes.

If you have survived the look, or decided not to see, be advised that these wounds are created by a surgeon in order to remove a lot of dead and rotten tissue and other stuff – and they looked more or less like this since 21 of October when they did the surgery… The toes are not that old though, but they still dies…

Live and learn – take care of your feet if you have diabetic, this happen is a very short time frame, the infection till it started to die was just a few days – one day I might post more pictures of the time frame, but for now, this is what I want to show.

Best wishes everyone

Linda

Husband update, 22th Nov

Hi,

Nothing much to report really, as Tore is still debating over when he is admitting him self into the hospital again to chop of his foot and partly leg…

We had decided to let his brother know this weekend, being more like a child then a 58 year old man we feared his reaction and thought/hoped spending time with us would be a good way to break the news.
Problem is that the body of his brother is more like 80 or so in age so he is very limited in his movements, and this weekend has been the worse ever in us having to help Tore’s brother with almost everything from getting up of the chair to almost hold his hand all the way to the toilet, bathroom, kitchen…
This been taking its toll on Tore that knows that he too will in near future becomes extremely limited in his movements and things he can do without having to think it through in order to make sure he can get it done.

Tore is a very brave and great man – I’m so proud of him, the way he handles this situation he is in, the way he don’t hide from him self, I know in my heart that he will get through this no matter how hard it will be!

I fear I will tackle this not as good, but so far I’m hanging in there with Tore doing my best.

We are going to drive his brother home now, in to Oslo where he lives, maybe we go visit their aunt too, not sure yet. Hope we do, last time she saw Tore he was in the hospital bed, rather “not there” mentally or in body/spirit – and here he is walking around and looking like a healthy man.
Rather strange that he needs to amputate his foot when you look at him – you have to know how is foot is to understand it.

We are hanging in there, was a hard day to day as Tore’s brother decided he was to tired to go to the bathroom, had already pied his diapers full and now he pied all over the coach he was laying on – without telling us… 😦
He had some spreads there to collect wet stuff (learned from passed experiences), but it was not enough and it went all over the width of the coach – the same place Tore has to lay on when the wound is cleaned and changed every day by the home care people coming to our home every day now.
We where mad as hell, but nothing we could do except clean it up as good as possible.

But, now I need to run, we are ready for departure, it is 3 in the afternoon, and very soon it will be dark – it is a rainy day so that don’t help either.

Take care

Linda

Husband update, 18th Nov

Hi,

These last few days been very hard days on the mind, both for Tore and me.

He has essential been told there is no hope for the foot, chop it of at the leg, go through the program, get a prosthetic leg and live a long wonderful life. Your a great candidate and one we would go for they said on Monday.

They push for him doing it fast, it will pay in the long run to do it now they say, Tore is strong, healthy, no way the foot will grow and it will only get worse if you leave it on so to speak.

But, it is damn hard to get the mind to the state where it knows and feels this to be fully the truth, that the foot has decided not to be part of your life anymore – and it is a long road there, and with the fear for the road forward after that for many weeks and months to come with lot of struggles, hardship and feeling of loss and helplessness – damn it is a hard decision to make!
I so wish there was anything I could do for Tore to lessen this, but all I can do is be here for him the best I can, and that just don’t feel like good enough for me! 😦

It is hard days, we have plenty more hard days – but, I have my husband back, better then ever!
He is in touch with him self like never before, it sends chills down my spine to think and feel and know this, boy do I live this man and his will to get through this!
He is brave as hell!

Take care of your self, I need to run

Linda

Husband update, 16th Nov

Hello,

This will be a short note, not much good to report.

We are right now at the hospital, waiting for the doctor to sign of Tore’s release for the time being and the medications he need.
Been a long day, lot of information to handle – but every one ask him to please not take to long to consider the amputation. One doctor even asked him to take the decision today when he saw how much antibiotic Tore is on.
It is to soon for my taste, seems that way for Tore too, but I have to admit, I struggle a lot with this as I don’t feel all options to see if the wound can heal has been tried yet.
I doubt it will help on the top wound, but I so hope something could help on the bottom wound under his foot.
It is a hard road to knowledge about amputation being the best thing, I know in the future it will, but my feelings don’t fully agree with me yet.

Tore is damn brave in this, I fear I can’t be as brave – it is a struggle I can’t describe, it is like I can feel his pain/struggles and then have my own on top of it.
I know that sounds awful, I’m not sure if I have a good way to describe it, I know that what Tore experiences has to be worse then what I feel – but how to describe it…

It is hard to be here and see Tore struggle, wishing to talk with people around him, having hard time to get hold of old friends – to express him self and so on.
I my self feel a strong urge/need to talk with my friends and family – but in the same time I know there are stuff I can’t say as they will not understand me and I fear we end up in an argument

But, I have to run now.

Take care

Linda